December 2019

Who can I talk to about hard things with my partner?

Dear Bear; My partner and I have been struggling for a while. We are each other’s best friends and confidantes, and so these current struggles are especially hard. I feel like I have no one to talk to — I would normally consult my partner! I’m worried about oversharing with my friends, but I can’t keep all of this bottled up anymore.The thing is that I feel confident this will get worked through and pass, or at least I feel that way most of the time. So I worry that if I discuss it ...
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How do I….not be racist? As a writer? As a person?

I'm a grad student attending a university on the east coast, and I am... struggling with my faith in social justice and liberalism in general, just because the things I see people doing don't line up with what they say they're about. I think that some of it is the shock of returning to school during the Trump era, when people are naturally on edge and pessimistic. It might also be the school itself, which is a blue dot the middle of a purple state. Most of the students are white, and straight ...
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How do I keep my parents from coopting my wedding?

Dear Bear,I am in the middle of planning my very queer and very Jewish wedding, our parents are splitting the cost for some context. It is bringing up everything I've avoided addressing with my parents, namely the fact that I'm a person with my own needs and desires, and it is messy and painful. I just got off the phone with my mom. I'm inviting 75 fucking family members. I need to cut back on some second cousins. I told this to my mom and she was basically like, well you know don't you think ...
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