July 2018

I have a big crush on a good friend I do a lot of important activism with. Should I tell them so?

Dear Bear, I do a lot of activist work with someone I have developed a rather gigantic crush on. We're close friends by now which is amazing, and our projects have had a lot of success, which is also really rewarding. We are both married to other people, lovely people. My person would be fine with us starting up A Thing of some kind, my crush's relationship seems to allow for the possibility so no cheating would have to occur. There has been a lot of flirting, or at least conversation that ...
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I’m in a pattern with my partner that’s totally one-sided. What should I do?

Dear Bear, I've been married for a long time, and I have a sex problem. We only have sex that involves me pleasuring her, and then... nothing (sometimes she rubs my feet). After asking suggesting scenarios where she might pleasure me, trying to be patient (16 years worth of patient), I don't know what else I could try. Then I asked her if I could find another partner. But where does a very fat, 70yo woman with a bad cough and not a lot of money find a lover? I’m terrified of getting caught ...
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