What should I, a white person, do?

Dear Bear,I can't imagine you have an answer to this question. But you seem willing to try tackling hard questions and I (a cis white queer in a mid-size city) am at a loss. Everything is awful. Every day there's a new atrocity in the news. I see it all, and I feel it all, the whole world is obviously broken. But what do I DO about it? What can I do? Dear Brave Correspondent, I am of two minds about answering your question, to be honest. On one hand, I have to confess that I want to ...
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I need my joyfriend to stop and think about my feelings, but they won’t. Why?

Dear Bear, My joyfriend is smart and interesting and funny and great and also sometimes when they see something they want they just go barreling forward toward it and start acting like a jerk if I ask for pause or process or consideration. Some of the things impact me in significant ways like job changes that will mean a real change of income or a new weirdo restrictive diet they want us both to be on because that's a way I can be supporting. It's not just minor stuff like someone ...
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Special Topics In Being A Human, vol 1.

Hello, Brave Correspondents all. Today marks the beginning of an occasional special illustrated feature on Asking Bear: Special Topics In Being A Human, written by me and illustrated by the amazing Saul Freedman-Lawson. These intermittent guides are breakouts of a series of steps for managing complex human stuff that I've done my best to explain in a way that's colloquial, coherent and reasonably comprehensive. As always no advice is one-size-fits-all, but I'm hopeful that this will fit some ...
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Can I just stop talking to people if they’ve been horrible to me?

Dear Bear, In therapy I am learning some new things. One of them is that a lot of times I give people too many chances and let them treat me badly over and over without any consequences. When I ask for an apology I am not taken seriously. Or sometimes I get an apology that goes "tell me what I'm supposed to do" which doesn't seem like an apology? Anyway I am recently just thinking about not being friends with or not talking to certain people anymore. That includes some relatives. It ...
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