I HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE I SHOULDN’T HAVE. NOW WHAT?

The allure of the forbidden is real, and we should probably usually resist it, but human beings are human. Dear Bear, I had sex with someone I probably should not have had sex with. Specifically, I had sex with the husband of my PhD advisor. And THEN we discovered that we actually really like each other, so it’s maybe worse than that. I might be falling in love with someone I definitely should not even be allowed to like and who if I keep it up will probably completely torpedo my career ...
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WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

Dear Bear, What the fuck are we supposed to do now? * * * Dear Brave Correspondent, I think this is a very reasonable question. What’s more, I think that it pretty well echoes what a lot of people are thinking right now. In this political moment, in this weaponized cultural climate, when some of us are suddenly discovering that people we may have thought we’re on our side are either actively against us, or didn’t care enough to protect us—indeed, what the entire fuck do we ...
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SHOULD I TELL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I’M POLY?

Dear Bear, I have started a great new-ish relationship. It’s sweet and hot and exciting and all the good things and I feel really good about it. However, I am resisting telling people about it and/or reluctant to discuss it even though I’m happy because I am in a relationship with two people who are married to each other. We’re a triad or a trio or whatever one might choose to call it. I didn’t know I was polyamorous necessarily, but this thing happened and it feels right. But ...
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HOW DO I GET MY SEXIST BOSS TO APOLOGIZE?

Dear Bear, My boss said something so stupid and sexist and actually really rapey the other day, again, and I called him on it right there in the meeting. He said, “I’m sorry if you were offended.” He seems to think that’s an apology and doesn’t understand why I and a bunch of the other people in the office are still really pissed about it. He pulled me aside and said “I apologized, tell them to let it go.” I don’t think he really did apologize, and I think maybe if he did ...
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MY BOYFRIEND HATES LEAVING THE HOUSE

Dear Bear, Is “this just isn’t enough fun for me” a legit reason to leave somebody?  My partner and I have been together a few years and this relationship stressor continues to come up.  He likes TV and movies.  While I enjoy a (literal) Netflix and chill as much as the next guy, I also like water parks, stargazing, road trips, and days in the lake.  I have other friends and can usually rally other people to do these things, but I’d like him to have fun with me, too.  He’s ...
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