I GOT A JOB AFTER COLLEGE BUT FEW OF MY FRIENDS DID AND I FEEL AWFUL.

Dear Bear, As of a couple months ago, I am a college graduate (yay!). I went to a good school, worked my ass off, and got a good job doing something like doing and am steadily getting better at. The problem is that most of my friends also worked hard and they did not get jobs. They’re slinging lattes, they were camp counselors for the summer, and they’ve gone home to their parents houses to keep looking for work and other things like that. They’re basically miserable and some of ...
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MY MOTHER HATES MY HUSBAND. WHAT DO I DO?

Dear Bear, My situation is simple but awful. My mother really really hates my husband, Mike*. She says he’s lazy and stupid and selfish and all kinds of other things that just aren’t true. He’s not perfect but no one is. She certainly isn’t. But she goes after him constantly, every conversation and every visit. Mike tries to be easygoing but she’s a champion button pusher. Eventually she gets his goat and he reacts and that’s just more fuel for her fire. She’s not a bad ...
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I HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE I SHOULDN’T HAVE. NOW WHAT?

The allure of the forbidden is real, and we should probably usually resist it, but human beings are human. Dear Bear, I had sex with someone I probably should not have had sex with. Specifically, I had sex with the husband of my PhD advisor. And THEN we discovered that we actually really like each other, so it’s maybe worse than that. I might be falling in love with someone I definitely should not even be allowed to like and who if I keep it up will probably completely torpedo my career ...
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WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

Dear Bear, What the fuck are we supposed to do now? * * * Dear Brave Correspondent, I think this is a very reasonable question. What’s more, I think that it pretty well echoes what a lot of people are thinking right now. In this political moment, in this weaponized cultural climate, when some of us are suddenly discovering that people we may have thought we’re on our side are either actively against us, or didn’t care enough to protect us—indeed, what the entire fuck do we ...
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SHOULD I TELL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I’M POLY?

Dear Bear, I have started a great new-ish relationship. It’s sweet and hot and exciting and all the good things and I feel really good about it. However, I am resisting telling people about it and/or reluctant to discuss it even though I’m happy because I am in a relationship with two people who are married to each other. We’re a triad or a trio or whatever one might choose to call it. I didn’t know I was polyamorous necessarily, but this thing happened and it feels right. But ...
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