Do I have to attend the funeral of the one relative I liked in my awful family?

Dear Bear, My uncle has just died and that's very sad for me. We liked each other a lot and often spent the hard parts of family gatherings doing chores and escaping from our other relatives which neither of us ever liked very much. I think from many clues he dropped that he was actually gay and closeted but never came out during his life. I am gay and out and my family strongly disapproves. Anyway, his funeral is definitely going to be awful. It will be a lot of people I don't like ...
Read More

YAY 2018? EXCEPT I AM NOT FULL OF YAY, OR ANYTHING EXCEPT WTF.

Dear Bear, It’s about to be New Year’s Eve, and everyone is posting their #instagrambest9 and making resolutions and so forth and I mostly want to hide under my bed. The world is a shit fire, I’ve had a really hard year personally, and also things have been SO BAD for SO LONG. Companies rob us blind. Elections are rigged (have a look at that gerrymandering map of North Carolina if you don’t believe me). And then personal stuff too, like my mother has cancer. It’s exhausting ...
Read More

WHY DON’T MY FRIENDS TAKE CARE OF ME? AM I BAD AT FRIENDSHIP?

Dear Bear, I’m part of a friend group that’s pretty close and does a lot of things together even though we don’t all live in the same city anymore (we call ourselves The Breakfast Club though we’re really now more like The Big Chill without the suicide). We definitely show up for each other’s weddings and big birthdays and we just got our first baby so that’s fun. We all met as interns and totally bonded (think The Internship without Owen Wilson though we do kind of have ...
Read More

I GOT A JOB AFTER COLLEGE BUT FEW OF MY FRIENDS DID AND I FEEL AWFUL.

Dear Bear, As of a couple months ago, I am a college graduate (yay!). I went to a good school, worked my ass off, and got a good job doing something like doing and am steadily getting better at. The problem is that most of my friends also worked hard and they did not get jobs. They’re slinging lattes, they were camp counselors for the summer, and they’ve gone home to their parents houses to keep looking for work and other things like that. They’re basically miserable and some of ...
Read More

MY MOTHER HATES MY HUSBAND. WHAT DO I DO?

Dear Bear, My situation is simple but awful. My mother really really hates my husband, Mike*. She says he’s lazy and stupid and selfish and all kinds of other things that just aren’t true. He’s not perfect but no one is. She certainly isn’t. But she goes after him constantly, every conversation and every visit. Mike tries to be easygoing but she’s a champion button pusher. Eventually she gets his goat and he reacts and that’s just more fuel for her fire. She’s not a bad ...
Read More