January 2016

DO I HAVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE I DISAGREE WITH POLITICALLY?

Dear Bear, Can I end relationships (platonic, romantic, sexual, all kinds) if the person treats me well personally, but holds political views that I believe are contrary to the goals of my activism? I hear a lot, “You should be friends with people who disagree with you.” I think this line is often used as a way of silencing those who experience oppression, and I think it makes it seem like oppression and exploitation are attitude problems, and if someone from the exploited groups works ...
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I DON’T WANT TO SPEND 2016 FEELING BAD ABOUT MY LOOKS

Dear Bear: This may be a very silly question, but: how do I make peace being unattractive? A bit of context here: I'm a bisexual woman in my twenties. I've never been traditionally feminine, but nor am I butch in an interesting way.  I am frumpy, flat-chested, perpetually five pounds overweight, and utterly without a sense of style. Lately I've been experimenting the androgyny—sometimes because it's comfortable, sometimes because my girlfriend seems to like it.  It's all good ...
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