October 2015

HOW DO I GET OKAY WITH BEING BAD AT STUFF?

Dear Bear, I'm a pretty smart, capable guy, but I HATE doing things I'm not good at. A few months ago, we went to one of those “drink while everyone in the group does a painting” events, and it was torture: I'm not talented in the visual arts, and the fact that I was making this shitty painting where other people could potentially see me suck made the entire experience emotionally torturous, even though the room could not have been more relaxed or less judgmental. And it seems like ...
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MY KIDS ARE NOW ADULTS – BUT THEY STILL DON’T GET ALONG

Dear Bear, I feel ridiculous writing to an advice column at my age but I am at my absolute wit’s end. You seem to be rather evenhanded and that’s what I need right now. My situation is that I have four children, and the two oldest ones (I’ll call them John and Jane) are constantly in conflict. They’re close in age and I’m afraid they couldn’t be more different if you checked off every box on purpose. They have long memories and old hurts that have magnified and ...
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