How do I know when to stop trying to fix myself and everything else?

Dear Bear,I'm a constant self-improver, constant seeker. I am always looking for the better in everything including myself and my circumstances and other people too. This has caused me some stress in my relationships, because I feel out of sync with people who are just fine and happy with how they are or what they're doing. I always want to be doing more and better and I don't understand really when others don't. Am I on the right track? Are other people basically just lazy about this? Is ...
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I’m a Christian with gay feelings. What should I do?

Dear Bear, I want a different perspective on something I’ve been going through. I’m a 21 y/o female and one semester in school about a year ago I developed a crush on a classmate who was a girl. I could feel it happening and I finally realized that I was developing my first crush on a girl. I cried a lot and felt this big war within my soul because I’ve been living a Christian lifestyle since I was 18. I know exactly what people in my church will say about homosexuality and I know what ...
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How do I deal with my partner’s feelings when they eclipse my own?

Dear Bear: My wife cries.  A lot.  It seems that whenever there’s some stress in her life or especially if we are having an argument, she breaks down and cries and then asks for immediate emotional support (and if I don’t or can’t provide it, she goes into downright emotional meltdown mode).  We have been to therapy over this and I am trying to be more accepting of her crying and more ok with the fact that it is normal and even healthy for people to cry.  But it’s to the point ...
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Someone told my friend to ask for what she wants. How do I tell her it’s too much?

Dear Bear, I have a friend who has been in therapy for a while, which is really good because she needed it. She's always struggled with depression and sometimes even suicide after awful family bullshit. In therapy she is being encouraged to express herself and ask for what she wants. She told me her therapist said she needs to take the wheel and drive, not just sit in the back and hope. Which is great, in theory. But in practice she is kind of heedless and thoughtless of what else is ...
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I have a big crush on a good friend I do a lot of important activism with. Should I tell them so?

Dear Bear, I do a lot of activist work with someone I have developed a rather gigantic crush on. We're close friends by now which is amazing, and our projects have had a lot of success, which is also really rewarding. We are both married to other people, lovely people. My person would be fine with us starting up A Thing of some kind, my crush's relationship seems to allow for the possibility so no cheating would have to occur. There has been a lot of flirting, or at least conversation that ...
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