How do I tell my family I’m really happy (in a way that’s way outside their experience)?

Dear Bear, I don't mean to sound like a Tumblr post but all of this info is relevant to my question so I'm 26, nonbinary, assigned male at birth, and asexual. For a long time I really thought something was horribly wrong with me. I wasn't interested in girls even though I tried to fake it, and then when I decided I must be gay that wasn't right either. I couldn't get excited about boys the way other gays I knew described. Last year I found the world of puppy play and it was like a ...
Read More

How do I let go of hoping to get my ex-girlfriend back?

Dear Bear About 2 months ago my ex ended our 4 year relationship with me because "something didn't feel right." We shared many firsts from the first kiss right up to the first break up. This deeply saddened me and I am still struggling with who I am without her in my life. She said she wanted to be friends but I probably burned that bridge when I called her names for the first time during our last phone call a few weeks ago. I needed something concrete that I did wrong or I would just ...
Read More

What should I, a white person, do?

Dear Bear,I can't imagine you have an answer to this question. But you seem willing to try tackling hard questions and I (a cis white queer in a mid-size city) am at a loss. Everything is awful. Every day there's a new atrocity in the news. I see it all, and I feel it all, the whole world is obviously broken. But what do I DO about it? What can I do? Dear Brave Correspondent, I am of two minds about answering your question, to be honest. On one hand, I have to confess that I want to ...
Read More

I need my joyfriend to stop and think about my feelings, but they won’t. Why?

Dear Bear, My joyfriend is smart and interesting and funny and great and also sometimes when they see something they want they just go barreling forward toward it and start acting like a jerk if I ask for pause or process or consideration. Some of the things impact me in significant ways like job changes that will mean a real change of income or a new weirdo restrictive diet they want us both to be on because that's a way I can be supporting. It's not just minor stuff like someone ...
Read More